Where Guitar Fits In

I sat down tonight with my guitar, and it was different.  I mean, sitting down with my guitar is not uncommon.  I do it all the time.  But tonight was different.

I didn’t know what I wanted to play, I didn’t know what I would end up playing…I just begain to play.  Before I knew it, that moving chord progression was stuttering out from beneath my palm…

C#m  Asus E Bsus

Unconciously, I began singing…Amaaaa-zing grace, how sweet, the sound.  That saaaaved a wretch, like me…I once, was lost, but now, am found…

It was at this point two things hit me.  The first was superficial at most.  I’m way better now than I used to be.  I look back at my skills even a year ago, and I’m amazed at what persistence and dedication can do.  There’s no way to get around this sounding conceited, but I’m very proud of myself for being able to get as far as I have.

Second was what my guitar means to me; moreover, where it fits into my life.  I love music and I love playing my guitar, but I still feel the need for a reason to play.  I need some form of driving motivation it seems.  I find that my motivation comes from my faith.  My mind often wanders far away while playing; completely lost in the repetition of a chord progression.  The world melts away.  My worries disappear.  It’s just me and the melody.  Guitar has become, for me, a complete form of service to God.  I can’t help but feel that he’s blessed me with a talent that He wants me to use, and I love how guitar has kept me accountable to maintain my faith and relationship with my Church, and how my faith has blessed me with a talent.

It fills me with joy.  It fills me with hope.  It fills me with comfort.  It challenges me.  It rewards me.  It confounds me.  It comforts me.

Some days, I feel like I want to run away from work, run away from my responsibilites and life and just take my guitar into a corner with God and play.  I don’t think that’s the plan He has for me, though.

That being said, I’m having a ton of fun learning a few Modest Mouse songs right now, and my relationship with my guitar is what keeps me sane through the stressful times at work.  I’m very happy to have it.

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