đź”— What Romance Really Means After 10 Years of Marriage

Over at NYMag, Heather Havrilesky writes on notions of romance a decade plus into a marriage:

And it’s another thing entirely when you start to grow an alien in your belly, one that makes you sharp-tongued and menacing, and then one day it finally comes out, all covered in white slime! That is next-level romance right there! And then, suddenly, all you do is talk to the hairless alien and feed it with your own body (a miracle!), bragging about how you make food from thin air like a GOD, and then, once the alien goes to bed, you say JESUS I’M EXHAUSTED and OUCH MY BOOBS HURT and then you pass out in a smelly, unattractive heap. That’s survival! Once you have kids, even in a first-world country, you enter a kind of simulation of third-world living. You’re feeding one kid with your body while your husband crouches on the floor of a dressing room at the mall, wiping excrement off the other kid’s butt. You and your spouse are slogging through the slop of survival together.

And it’s romantic. Mark my words.

There’s truth in this article; the daily grind eventually takes us all to the grave, but joy and romance can be found when someone’s willing to walk down that road with you.

While there’s always a place for flowers, going out for a nice dinner, and the other “nice” gestures of romance, once you’ve been with someone for a while, the suspense will begin to go away. You realize this person is committed to you. One of the central ideas of this article is that North American concepts of romance are heavily influenced or based upon the suspense of the unknown. Once you accumulate years of shared experience, a confidence in your togetherness, and the pressures of work, raising a family, and getting old, if the notion that romance is rooted in suspense of the unknown can’t be changed, then of course it will feel like the romance has left the relationship. To be married is to be known. After even 10 years, you will know a shocking amount about your partner (including what they look like when they first wake up when feeling sick, which is never particularly flattering for any of us).

Find romance in the day to day. Find romance in complaining that your body is beginning to ache. Find romance in the transition to a semi-third world squalor that happens briefly after the arrival of a new baby. Find romance not in the unknown, but in the motions of surviving together.

And take your wife out for a fun evening once in a while!



Firewatch is the debut game from upstart Campo Santo, which is a new game studio formed by industry veterans Chris Remo and Jake Rodkins who are primarily known for their more recent work on Season 1 of Telltale’s The Walking Dead game that was released in 2012. This new effort from the team follows a 40-something year old man named Henry as he spends a summer away from home working as a remote fire watchman in Shoshone National Forest, Wyoming. Without spoiling much of the story, Henry takes a remote job in the forest to take stock of the crossroads he finds his life in after a series of unexpected events that have transformed his life into something he didn’t expect.

So, what is Firewatch?

Continue reading “Firewatch”

Adding Password Protected Podcasts to Overcast for iOS

After encountering the problem myself, I’ve noticed others asking how to add a password-protected podcast to Marco Arment’s excellent iOS podcast app, Overcast. Fortunately, it’s quite simple.

Overcast's add podcast screen
Overcast’s add podcast screen
  1. Tap on the + symbol at the top right of Overcast’s main screen to open the add podcast screen.
  2. Tap on “Add URL” at the top right.
  3. This is where we’re going to create the link to our password-protected podcast with our login credentials embedded within it. Simply get the URL to the podcast, suppose it’s www.podcast.org/podcast/passwordneeded/. Take that URL, and then after the http://, add your login credentials in the form username:password@. So the URL becomes something along the lines of http://buffaloseven:123456@www.podcast.org/….

This will ensure that your login credentials are sent alongside the request for the podcast and will allow you to access it properly. It has the unfortunate side-effect of sending your credentials in the clear, particularly if it’s not a https connection, so hopefully Marco will add proper support down the line.

I’m pretty happy with my typography choices on our soup tags today. The title font should be easy to guess for typography nerds, but I’d wager the ingredient list is harder to pin down.